Tag Archives: iPhone

Apple, I Hate You

Today I paid to replace my iPhone screen. Feel free to pause and offer your condolences. In the 2 hours that I spent wandering around aimlessly in the general vicinity of the service centre, I had a lot of time to process my grief.

In the denial stage, I fantasized about all the things that the money could have bought: at least 50 eBooks, which is my 5-year reading goal at this point; a nice staycation, which is what travel has been reduced to; an entirely new phone, albeit not an Apple one.

I was looking forward to the anger stage until I realized that the person I needed to be mad at was my 2017 self who decided to get herself out of a funk by buying an iPhone. I spent a few minutes thinking back to that time to figure out if there was anyone I could blame for the decision and came up with zilch.

Thus deflated, I moved ahead to bargaining. I promised myself that I would use this phone for the next 10 years to make up for the price of the new screen, which was a bit much. We negotiated it down to 5 years and felt quite good about it. I also thought up all sorts of ways in which I would be careful with my phone so as not to drop it EVER again, like even if I fall down the stairs, my phone will stay clutched in my hand, completely unharmed.

I was really dreading the depression stage, so I came up with a brilliant plan: window shopping! Ironically, the window shopping quickly turned into retail therapy when I ended up buying an outfit at the very first store I was browsing in. In retrospect, if I had adhered a bit strictly to the term and stayed outside looking in through windows, I might have avoided this debacle. Since shopping always makes me hungry (and it was 2 o’clock in the afternoon), I decided to find something to eat. Side note: I can never figure out if malls have conditioned me to eat after shopping or they just capitalized on human nature. The meal was an unexpected delight in an almost empty restaurant with outdoor seating (wouldn’t it be an amazing filter on Zomato these days?). I ate, drank, read my book and before I knew it, the 2 hours were over and I got back custody of my phone.

Standing in the service centre, signing delivery forms in triplicate, I tried to muster up the energy to sear the moment into memory, so that I would never again be tempted to buy an apple device but my mind, the contrary creature that it is, decided to play me a slideshow of all the reasons why I should stay put. I guess you could call it acceptance.

On the ride home, I decided to regress back to a form of denial by forgetting this ever happened, like an extremely specific amnesia. I worry that when I see my credit card bill next month, I’m going to be outraged at the fraudulent use of my card. I guess writing this post has been about reminding myself when that moment comes that this really happened. What a great start to the year. Here’s hoping the technology gods will be kind to me this year and save my phone from all accidents. Amen.