Day 010 – I Smell Snow

Well I don’t actually smell snow but I used to love this line from Gilmore Girls and I am paraphrasing it to mean I smell cold weather! Mumbai is experiencing it’s few days of cold weather of the year this week and I am so thrilled. Bright blue skies, cold breeze and sunny is my favourite combination of weather elements. The temperature is not to chilly but chilly enough that I could go for a 45 minute walk and only have a light sheen of sweat on my face instead of the usual rivers running down that I usually have. If it feels like I’m a bit nuts to be gushing about the weather like this, that’s because I probably am. All afternoon I kept wanting to curl up on the window ledge and read a book or snuggle up for a nap instead of what I actually did (work). I know that these days will be so limited so I want to make the absolute best of them as much as I can.

I read an article today that confirmed to me what I have always suspected, which is that some people’s traits (inherent elements of personality) make it easier for them to form or break habits while the rest of us have to painstakingly manage our environment to facilitate the same state (a way that someone chooses to behave at a particular time). It can be done of course but that bitter feeling you get when you hear about someone else conquering that mountain which you are struggling to scale is probably something you could do without and this article suggests you do exactly that. First you do everything you can to set yourself up for success but then you also understand and accept your limitations and love yourself for it. Needless to say, I am in the state camp but for most of my life I have been led to believe that there is no such difference. If you “want” to do something badly enough, you will do it. If you aren’t getting where you “want” to be, you have to try harder or stop being lazy. While undoubtedly it is better to encourage and motivate someone to keep working towards their goals, all the wise pieces of advise that I have ever heard (and maybe you have too) have never included this seemingly important clause that this may be out of your reach but you should still celebrate whatever much you can achieve. The devil’s advocate in me is sneering and wants to say that this seems like a very pretty escape clause, an incentive to stay in the comfort zone and never venture out. But I say the hell with it. Life is too short to spend in misery agonizing about not reaching a state of effortless flow when working towards a goal. Maybe that goal isn’t the one for you anyway.

A friend of mine gave me this very advice a while back when I decided to embark on a diet and exercise regimen and I think I must have subconsciously understood because reading this article was like a giant lightbulb going off in my head. I hereby declare that I am done feeling bad about my body and I am definitely done regretting not fitting into clothes. I will continue to look for ways to eat better and exercises that I enjoy but I am done feeling a sense of dread when I look at the weighing scale. I will try my best to reach those 10,000 steps a day but I am celebrating anything over 6,000. If the clothes I love don’t fit me anymore, I will say goodbye and give them away to someone who they will fit. When one day my back starts aching and my knees can’t hold me up anymore, I will remember not to look back in regret but be glad for the times they have served me well and accept that this is what happens to the body as we age. I will banish this thought from my head that somehow I owe the world a “perfect” health record because newsflash: nobody is perfect. So in summary, I am done with it all.

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